Funny Sports Jokes (fishing charters)
No commentsBy anne gilardo
Funny jokes about sport are great! These are some of my favourites…
Supplemental Rules for Bowling
If you holler “overs!” before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the “overs”.
When your team is about 10 marks down in the 8th or 9th frame, you can invoke the rule “First Team Through Bowling Wins the Game”, and your team still has a chance.
After a member of the opposing team bowls 4 strikes in a row, he/she must bowl the next 4 frames blindfolded. If he/she continues to strike, his/her shoelaces will be tied together for 2 frames.
When you leave the 10-pin and you know you can’t make the spare, but another member of your team can, invoke the “Designated Bowler” rule.
After you have 4 splits in one game, you may say “Kings X” and take those 4 frames over. However, if you split on the 2nd time around, you accept it. After all, “Fair is Fair”.
If your ball goes in the gutter and jumps back onto the lane, knocking dow pins, by golly, you get them! That’s much harder than to knock them down the conventional way. Good bowling should be recognized.
A ball should be declared dead when you bowl 3 games without a strike. It shall be the owners privilege to decide on the disposition of said dead ball - Burial at Sea, Dropped from an airplane over a live volcano, or a simple burial in the city dump. For a small fee, a league officer can be bribed to deliver a short eulogy.
This is another funny joke I like…
Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge.
One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge.
He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head.
The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.
The other guy says, “That was touching. I didn’t know you had it in you.”
The first guy responds, “Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years.”
And finally I like these 10 reasons not to jog…
1. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now & we don’t know where the heck she is.
2. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
3. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
4. I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
5. I don’t exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.
6. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
7. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
8. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
9. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
10. I don’t jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
Funny jokes keep us all happy and felling good!
Come over to my jokes site! Click here now!
Portsmouth FC: Pompey Strive for Another FA Cup
By Roger Munns
Pompey’s ‘08/09 season is just underway, and Portsmouth fans couldn’t be happier. It appears the Blue Army is geared up for another exciting season. Pompey fans are a die-hard bunch, loving their team through wins and losses alike. However, it’s clear that they’re hoping their home team will deliver another winning season. It remains to be seen whether Portsmouth will bring home another FA Cup this year.
Last season’s win for Pompey was only its second in history. The team’s first FA Cup came in 1939. It was an exhilarating match between two underdogs. Portsmouth’s competition, Cardiff, was also aiming for its second FA Cup in history. Cardiff’s first and last was in 1927. The Pompey edged out Cardiff 1-0, shattering their hopes for another FA Cup.
The football club has a rich and longstanding history. It was founded in 1898 and originally part of the Southern League. The new club got off to a roaring start, winning 20 out of 28 league matches that season. Their inaugural season saw Portsmouth land in the runner-up spot overall, impressive for a brand new team.
No one is quite certain when Portsmouth became known by its nickname ‘Pompey’. It came about within a few decades of its founding. Fans debate the time ‘Pompey’ become synonymous with ‘Portsmouth’ almost as hotly as the origin of the name. The nickname seems to have dubious roots. It has become, in fact, something of an urban legend. What’s very certain is that no one really is quite certain where ‘Pompey’ came from. Theories abound by the hundreds and many hold to their own preferred theory religiously. It seems to be agreed upon by fans and historians alike that the name is of naval origin. Not much consensus has been reached beyond this. Sometimes these things are best left undebated, at least between those who wish to remain cordial.
Portsmouth’s strip has changed dynamically since the club’s inception. Today’s fans might be shocked to learn that ‘The Blues’ weren’t always blue. The opening season found the team dressed in pink shirts, white shorts and maroon socks. An apparent majority of fans agree that this combination was ghastly. Few seemed to mourn its passing in 1909. It seemed appropriate to mark a decade of successful football by changing to its more familiar blue. Blue has stuck ever since, and little change has been made with regard to color. The exception to this was socks, which changed from black to red in 1947. It is this ensemble that today’s fans are most familiar with. Portsmouth’s luck actually seemed to take a turn for the better with the introduction of the red socks. Even the non-superstitious question the team’s new blue socks for this year’s season. Rumor has it that the red socks will be back for the 2009/2010 season.
New socks coincide with a new sponsor. Club owners have signed with a Malta major airline that will sponsor Portsmouth for two years. The two will partner together on some mutually beneficial commercial ventures. The airline is committed for two years, though another FA Cup win for the Pompey may see that deal extended.
Loyal fans don’t seem to balk much at paying 750 British pounds for adult season tickets. However, another FA Cup win by would probably make season ticket holders feel good about their investment. This season’s first team looks at least as good as last year’s. Fans won’t be expecting anything less from the Pompey in 2008/2009.
More details about the Maltese airline sponsoring Portsmouth can be found via yourmalta.com and includes hotels in Malta
The sponsoring airline are well known as the top one for Malta flights and a lot of the arivals for Malta holidays begin their trip with them.
Your Directory For Fishing Techniques And Products
Best Surfing In Europe? Head For Lanzarote
By Roger Munns
For sunshine, a friendly welcome and a great holiday destination in both the winter and summer, Lanzarote seems to have it all.
And for the surfer looking to catch great waves in a top beach destination, Lanzarote has just been recognised as being one of the best locations in the world to pursuit the sport - or just for fun.
A leading internet for surfing puts Lanzarote high on their list of the hundred best places in the world, coming shortly after another travel site suggested Lanzarote had one of the top beaches in the world, and hinted that other beaches in Lanzarote were good for watersports.
The recognition among the on-line travel sites of Lanzarote being top for their own niche sector will come as no surprise to many Europeans, who are helping Lanzarote defeat economic pessimism with a possible ten per cent or more rise in tourism in 2008 compared to last year.
Lanzarote is a favourite dive destination for many divers worldwide for example. Underwater visibility in the waters around Lanzarote is 65 to 100 feet. Marine life includes angel sharks, moray eels, damselfish, groupers and many others. The occasional hammerhead shark is also known to inhabit the waters of Lanzarote.
Diving during the summer months is often more comfortable in a 7mm semidry suit - however a 5mm wetsuit will suffice any time of year. Some divers prefer a dry suit with hood and gloves during the winter months. The water is warmest from June through to around mid October or so.
One of the travel and holiday sites that recommends Lanzarote states that while Lanzarote is just a hundred miles off Africa, it is Spanish, and describe the locals as ‘passionate’.
And of Lanzarote’s 90 beaches they say the best one, which ranks among the best in the world, is on the south of the island, at Caleta del Congrio, with an 87 per cent privacy rating.
They also suggest that those who like wind surfing should head for a different Lanzarote beach - the four mile long Famara Beach. And it is this beach that has helped prompt the windsurfing fraternity to put the island as among the best not just in Europe but globally.
Sandy beaches and water sports aren’t all that await in Lanzarote, and the island is great for family holidays as well.
Puerto Del Carmen for example is a great town for many family activities. The Rancho Texas Theme Park, established around 1731, is one of the most popular sites in Puerto Del Carmen. The first mayor of San Antonio, Texas, was originally from Lanzarote and the park is, in part, a tribute to that connection. Some of the park’s most popular attractions include crocodiles, parrots and a ‘Birds of Prey’ show. Pony and canoe rides and many other activities await anxious tourists and excited children.
But if it is for a watersport activity holiday Puerto Del Carmen is good for that too as it offers sports enthusiasts a wide range of activities. Locally owned diving shops often take tourists on amazing underwater adventures to various places around the island. Diving schools are available for those who wish to learn to dive or snorkel. Windsurfing, swimming, boating, jet skiing and paragliding are also very popular water sports enjoyed by many locals and tourists. Sports enthusiasts also can enjoy golfing, cycling, running, hiking, camping and other local activities, including the Ironman competition.
Costa Teguise is another town that is built around tourism. It is about 6 miles north-east of the capital city Arrecife. The entire resort is built on former lava fields and saltpans. The resort consists of several apartment blocks, bungalows and villas. Primary attractions are the golf course, a marina, commercial shops and entertainment. Many visitors enjoy the water park in the outskirts of the resort.
Whatever the reason for a holiday in Lanzarote, the island is a good choice, and with airlines often offering good return prices, it doesn’t have to be an expensive holiday either.
Article Source : Article King Pro - Free Reprints and Distribution
More details about the holiday island of Lanzarote can be found at yourlanzarote.net and they include holiday companies who offer Lanzarote holidays
They also have a map of Lanzarote and budget airlines with their cheap flights to Lanzarote
Saturday, September 27th, 2008 at 11:10 pm and is filed under sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
